isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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