she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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