rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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