So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
