And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
