Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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