He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
