At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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