What a fucking waste of an outfit
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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