Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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