I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
