im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
