We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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