He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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