Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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