Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
