So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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