I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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