if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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