I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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