Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
