come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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