Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
