she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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