i think my tv is drunk
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
