PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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