why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize