He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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