I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
