just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
