where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize