why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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