so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
