Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
