I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
