Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.

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(813): View more from Florida

watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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(319): View more from Iowa

he asked me to smell his eyeballs.

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(785): View more from Kansas

coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow

(1-785): View more from Kansas

why would you restrict a girl of that

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(513): View more from Ohio

I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

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(858): View more from California

How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?

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(278): View more from Michigan

i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?

(1-278): View more from Michigan

and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?

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