Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
