i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
