just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Randomize
