It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
