they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
