Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
do nipples grow back?
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