I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
