Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
