whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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