And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
