i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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