I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
