I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
