sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In other news, I just burned my penis
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
